I am horrible at dating. I’ve never been good at it, and frankly, I hardly ever find it enjoyable. I don’t know how people can go on date after date with person after person and not just become incredibly discouraged. From personal experience, I’m of the school of thought that certain people just click with some people and not with others. From experience, I believe a similar thing happens with dating.
For myself, I can usually tell if I want to pursue a relationship with someone based on our initial chemistry. You know the kind I’m talking about; a man and woman spot each other across the room, they begin talking, you can practically see the sparks between them. Ok I promise it’s not that cheesy or exaggerated but you get the picture. It may simply be because I’m impatient, but I really don’t see the point in going out with someone to see if, eventually, some sort of feeling develops. I suppose I am this way with dating because it’s how I am when I develop friendships. When I start talking to someone, if there is chemistry I want to talk to this person more. In talking to them more we find common interests, and not only that, we challenge each other and can even have healthy debates. Without this connection, where can anything really go?
Online dating and dating apps bring a whole new level of confusion and barriers to overcome when starting a new relationship. In today’s society it seems like we can’t escape the conundrum that is the dating app. With a selection of photos and 200 characters, you are tasked with catching someone’s eye and seeing if your hook was good enough to catch the bait (I suddenly completely understand the use of Plenty of Fish). In all honestly, the vast majority of these apps seem more for quick hookups and one night stands than for finding the love of your life. With the tools at our disposal when using these apps however, it does actually make sense that it would be used more for an immediate lust satisfier than a long term love initiator. With such non-descriptive, shallow profile summaries, it seems almost impossible to expect happily ever after from an app that relies purely on the superficial. I just can’t see myself explaining to my future children how I met their father with the loving words, “I saw his picture, how he loved hockey and hanging with his friends, and I knew it, I just had to swipe right”.
With this insistence on moving towards technology in every aspect of our lives, it is stressing to me to see this encroaching on our daily lives as well. Call me old fashioned but I miss the days of getting asked out in person and getting to know each other over awkward, yet fun dating experiences, and not cell phone screens.