Truth time, I’ve been down in the dumps lately. I hate to admit it but I’ve been doing that “only finding the negatives and imagining the worst possible scenario” thing. And I detest when I get into this state of mind. I know how fortunate I am to have my life and experiences but for some reason I just couldn’t get out of my own way. Luckily though, life has a way of giving us what we need when we need it.
Identifying the problem:
I think the problem that I have, along with so many other people, is that I’m a perfectionist. When I set a goal, I want success and I want that success at 100%. I don’t appreciate failure; not failure of others but failure within and by myself. Slowly though, I’ve come to realize that failure is essential. Failure helps me improve. With failure, I can figure out what works and what doesn’t and improve upon the necessary areas. It honestly has been insanely difficult to do this, even just saying “failure is helpful” to myself in front of the mirror. What I’ve had to realize is that failure in one challenge does not mean I myself am a failure, it simply means I am trying.
Letting it go:
Another hard part about achieving the progress I seek is accepting the fact that I can’t control everything. I’ve come to learn that life has a funny way of showing us, often at what we feel to be the worst time, that we aren’t in control of everything. Coming to the realization that I am not 100% in control and as such not 100% responsible for everything that happens in my life has been an unbelievable help. All I can do is give my best to the task I am given and accept what comes afterwards. It’s been a learning curve for sure to complete a task and say “the rest is out of my hands”. I’ve found lately that verbalizing my process has been helpful not only in helping me remember forgotten parts of a task but also to act as that final piece of my task, like my signature at the end of a letter.
Working on the whole package:
Another essential part of my progress plan is to keep my whole healthy, body, mind, and spirit. For me, physical activity and relaxation has become crucial to this process. When I get stressed out or frustrated I try to look at it logically, focus on the parts I can change, and deal with the other stress over what I cannot change in a constructive way. I find working out extremely helpful at reducing stress. Even if it’s just going for a walk, that physical activity gives me enough of a stress reduction that I can feel accomplished and proud of myself.
Putting it all together:
This past year has been such a gigantic learning curve for me in terms of self-discovery. I’ve learned that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, and that is 100% ok. I’ve also learned to embrace my failures more than my successes; my successes state stuff already known, my failures actually teach me things. I’ve become even more convinced that it is just not feasible to make the best life for yourself BY YOURSELF. If you want to achieve something, get help from everyone and everything you possibly can. And most of all, it is essential to take care of yourself as a whole to reach your full potential and achieve your ultimate goals in all areas of your life.