Bye 2020, Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

Bye 2020, Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

I cannot believe 2020 is over (doing a happy dance as I write this). I know that for so many of us, 2020 has been a crazy and so often, crazy bad, year. This has been an unprecedented year full of experiences many of us never ever want to live through ever again. So when the clock struck midnight we were all too happy to leave 2020 behind and usher in a new year.

For myself this year has had so many ups and downs I’ve lost count. From the start of the pandemic, my day to day work life changed to working from home. I have to admit it’s been super weird not being around my awesome coworkers but as someone living with a chronic illness, working from home has been a huge help. When living with a chronic illness, fatigue is a huge part of it; one you can’t really understand until you experience it. And with that fatigue it can make working a full time office job difficult, if possible at all. Luckily, my illness hasn’t gotten severe enough to prevent me from working but this working from home business has afforded me so much more energy. When working in the office, I would run out of energy by the end of the day and not be able to do anything after work but get home and rest. Now I finish my work and have enough energy to do things (although with the pandemic nothing’s been open for me to go to but it’s been nice to know my body would allow it if it was possible).

For myself, I’ve been holding on to remembering the good things I’ve been able to have in spite of the pandemic. I cannot overlook my fortune of still being able to have my job during this time. For anyone not able to work or who lost their jobs during this time, I am so incredibly sorry and cannot imagine how this would negatively affect your life, in so many ways.

Also, I hold so much gratitude for the fact that my family and I have remained healthy (knocking on wood and praying as much as I can to that affect). Because my family has a few immunocompromised folks, including myself, we’ve all been very careful with following the rules and regulations set forth to keep all of us safe. I am incredibly grateful that we have technology that affords is the ability to see each other even though we can’t be under the same roof or embrace in those all too missed hugs. To anyone who has lost a loved one or loved ones to this horrible pandemic, from the bottom of my heart I am incredibly sorry. This pandemic has been absolutely ruthless and indiscriminate and the loss of life is immeasurable and for anyone affected words aren’t enough to describe my sympathies.

To all the businesses that have had to shut down or are holding on by a thread because of the shutdowns and closures, again, my most heartfelt condolences. I cannot imagine how it feels to lose a business that is a part of you and your life. No words I have would be adequate and I cannot pretend to know how it feels so all I can say is I am so very sorry.

This past year has been full of so much loss and sadness that I know so many of us are glad to leave it behind. I cannot however, move into 2021 without mentioning and taking a moment to be grateful for the blessings 2020 has brought me. I moved into my first home and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’ve also met incredibly kind souls this year, even with all the closures and social distancing that had been going on. Yes I’ve had many medical issues this year and had to undergo surgery but I’ve been able to find an incredibly understanding, kind, crazy smart surgeon that’s helping me get to the bottom of an issue I’ve had for over six years. It’s been a long and stressful road and although I’m not near the end of it, getting small answers feel like a huge help when you’ve been dealing with no answers for so long.

I heard a lesson from Danielle Laporte that’s stuck with me ever since I heard it and it goes something like this “you don’t ever have to be thankful for the pain and struggles you’ve survived; be thankful for the strength you’ve had to survive them”. This year has been full of lessons, pain, and curveballs that all of us have endured. You don’t have to be grateful for that suffering because sometimes we can’t find the “lesson” in the pain, and that’s ok. Just be grateful to yourself that you’ve been strong enough and brave enough to survive and keep going. And you can keep going, just don’t give up. Ever. Here’s hoping 2021 will be a year of joy, incredible experiences, learning, and health. Take care everyone. Cheers!