Pandemic Pause – Why I took a Break from Blogging and Video Creation During the Pandemic

Pandemic Pause – Why I took a Break from Blogging and Video Creation During the Pandemic

I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever get back to writing; so this post feels like I’m relearning something I haven’t done in ages (this definitely isn’t ‘just like riding a bike’). I haven’t written a blog post in well over a year, and while I don’t owe anyone an explanation I feel like I want to give one.

Over the past year and several months, we’ve all been living through a global pandemic. And although truthfully this pandemic hasn’t drastically altered my daily life, as anyone living with a chronic illness knows that a social life isn’t really a thing, it’s still been an incredibly difficult time to navigate. The pandemic has been stressful on all of us and I cannot imagine the pain experienced by anyone who’s lost loved ones because of it. We’ve all been dealing with something we haven’t faced before. This wasn’t a small scale local event; this is a global occurrence. If “we’re all in this together” would ever be a useful phrase, it’s for this. We cannot act like this event hasn’t affected us in some way. Whether it’s through going through the illness ourselves, seeing loved ones go through it, losing loved ones because of it, not being able to see loved ones, changes or loss of work because of it, the list just goes on. But we’re all human, and because we are, we’re going to be affected by this, and that is completely normal, and ok. We don’t have to act like we’re “used to it” or that it hasn’t affected us at all, that’s simply not how being human works.

This pandemic has been really hard on my mental health and it’s had me basically living in survival mode. I’ve been simply focusing on work (which I’m incredibly grateful I’ve been able to do at home, which as any spoonie knows, is a HUGE energy saver) and doing what I can to stay healthy. My health overall hasn’t been so great this last year and a bit, and that’s added another layer of difficulty. Although I am thrilled that I’ve finally received some diagnoses (that I will talk about in upcoming blog posts) they’ve brought a whole other layer of stress and worry to dealing with my already existing illness. Getting new diagnoses has been great because I finally have answers but it isn’t the finish line. With new diagnoses there comes work; researching the diagnosis, looking up treatments, looking for specialists, looking up medications, the list goes on. And all of this takes a lot of work, and tons of energy; which is incredibly limited for me in the first place.

I know I’m not the only one experiencing this, whether healthy or not, but my energy level has been insanely low throughout the entire pandemic. I think for so many of us we’re just trying to carry on and not feel like the pandemic is controlling us when really it’s controlling every aspect of our lives. When dealing with stresses this large, it requires us to refocus. If you had to drop some previous commitments because you needed the rest, that’s ok. If you had to shift your priorities for your own sanity and well being, that’s ok. For myself this looked like taking a break from blogging and other creative projects because I had to put all my focus into still being able to work my full time job, and giving the rest of whatever energy I had into working on my health.

Needing a break doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m so tired of the messaging around how rest is for the weak and all the messaging about how rest is bad coming from people who only see the world through a “healthy body” lens. Needing rest doesn’t make you lazy. Needing rest doesn’t make you weak. Knowing when you need rest is a strength, just as is knowing when to say “no” to take care of yourself. Rest is a strength. Being able to rest means you are being kind to yourself and taking care of yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that. So don’t ever feel guilty for needing or taking a break. You only have one body and one mind and it’s your responsibility to take care of it, and that includes giving it rest.

I’d like to say that this post is an indication that I’m back to blogging on a schedule, but I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I love writing and I did miss it but I don’t want to put it above my health and make a sacrifice I can’t easily come back from. Making sacrifices is difficult and usually doesn’t feel good, but know that when you’re doing it for your well-being, it’s something you don’t ever have to apologize for or feel guilty about.

This past while has been a difficult crazy time for all of us. There have been ups and downs and unprecedented events we’ve never experienced before. It only makes sense that we’ve had to adjust and pivot our lives and priorities accordingly. This blog was one of the priorities I had to adjust, and now that I’m back at it, I hope to be able to continue, but if I can’t, I won’t beat myself up for it; and if you have to adjust priorities in your own life, I hope you’re kind to yourself as well. We’re all going though this event together, so let’s be kind to each other, and of course, ourselves.