How Do You Want to Feel? My Own Deep Dive Into Core Desired Feelings and How that Knowledge Can Change Your Life

I got an incredibly powerful download a few days ago (download, revelation, lightbulb moment, whatever you want to call it), and it absolutely blew my mind.

If you know me, you’ll know I have a big time self-development, teach me everything you know, crush on the goddess that is Danielle LaPorte. Everything she says and writes speaks directly to my soul. I have no idea how it works but the frequency with which she gives information is perfectly aligned with my soul.

I recently read one of Danielle’s books The Desire Map, and it completely changed my perspective on my actions, energy, and every other aspect of my being and my life. The main lesson in ‘The Desire Map’ is to look at actions and your potential journey and ask yourself this powerful question, HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL? Ever since I read this book that question has been in the back of my mind. I’d come up with a few emotions and sentiments whenever I would think about this question but nothing really hit the nail on the head. Nothing until I got that incredible download.

HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL?

Really marinate on this question. Every day of your life how do you want to feel? What energy do you want to receive each and every day? What vibrational energy do you want to give out to the world? Finding out the answers to these questions are a daily ongoing journey.

Now like I said, for myself I had a few emotions come up that I wanted to embody in my daily life, my relationships, and my work. I want to feel confident in my actions. I want to feel connected, to nature and the people in my life. I want to feel awake; eager to take on each day and the adventures it brings. And while those were all incredibly true, they weren’t at the deep soul level I knew I was looking for.

Then one moment, out of nowhere like a lightening bolt from the sky it just hit me. That core desired feeling that I’d felt for so long but hadn’t been able to place or articulate. I crave SAFETY. Now this isn’t to say I live this unsafe life or have an unsafe career (can you say James Bond), or unsafe relationships. This feeling of needing safety is more of an internal sensation of safety. When I really took time to get quiet and think about it, there are several areas in my life that having that sensation of safety is lacking or could be increased.

In My Work

Let’s be real, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want job security. The degree to which people strive for job security varies but having job security or steady income is something everyone (well at least everyone I know) wants. We want to know that we will have steady income; that we will wake up in the morning and our way of earning a living will still be there. Now I know that there are always unexpected things that can happen resulting in job loss or changes but being able to minimize that as much as possible has always been a chief concern for me. I do want to own my own business and that seems to go against everything concerning safety that my ego craves. By accepting my ego’s concerns and knowing that I can achieve everything I want if it is for the good of the universe and stays true to my soul, I know that the universe wants my safety and gives me the resources required to achieve that safety in job security. Coming to this realization took a lot of work. My family is one with the view of “get a job with a pension and benefits and you’re set for life, regardless of whether or not you truly love your job”. I’ve come to realize that this is not going to be good enough for me. My soul is too intent on bringing good into this world that staying in a typical 9-5 job is just going to drain my happiness and in turn hurt the world around me by not allowing me to give my best. Now I know this fear my ego has concerning job security is one I’ve been surrounded with my whole life, which is why it’s so hard to turn down that ego-driven dialogue but I’ve come to learn that it isn’t actually a valid argument. Regardless of where I am or what career I’m in there are risks, that’s a part of being human. For my soul to truly feel safe in my work life it only makes sense that I pursue what would make my soul most happy. With happiness comes a sense of security and with that feeling I can give my best to my work and in turn serve those around me to the best of my ability.

In My Health

I was born with a medical condition and had my first emergency surgery at six days old. With that as the first instance of my health I ever had, that cemented a health story of fragility, sickness, and weakness in my subconscious. All those qualities amounted to the exact opposite of health safety. Through the years I’ve had 20-something brain surgeries (I’ve honestly lost count) and the most important thing I’ve learned is that mindset is everything. Getting stuck in the “ugh I’m out of commission again and stuck feeling unwell again” gets you caught in a loop of negativity and you really can’t heal when you’re surrounded by those bad thoughts and low vibrations. The thing I’m continuously working on learning is that I have the power to positively affect my health. I am in charge of my sense of safety when it comes to my health. I can wake up each morning and see all I have to be grateful for in terms of my health. When I do have health setbacks or off days I am in charge of how I face them and how quickly I can bounce back. I have incredible resources when it comes to my healthcare. I have access to excellent medical care and resources, that amounts to incredible health safety. The trick is ensuring I constantly remind myself of this fact rather than get caught up in the negativity when I do feel sick.

In My Relationships

From an early age, my story on relationships was something like this, “people always leave”. Now as you can imagine, having that story on replay in the back of my mind and in my subconscious thoughts hasn’t been helpful, in all the types of relationships in my life. Having parents who aren’t together (like so many other people), along with having lost family and friends to illness really had engrained the belief in my subconscious that no matter how kind you are or how hard you try, people always wind up leaving. Now, because I’ve done a ton of journaling and meditating on this thought I’ve come to see how unrealistic it is. Regardless of what internal monologue you start off with, you can create one that helps to bolster the life you want to live. Truth be told this work to remind myself daily that I am worthy of relationships and people do not want to leave me is an ongoing process and has its fair share of ups and downs. And in all honesty, I still find myself doing sabotaging actions in my current relationship and working to stop these actions and sabotaging thoughts is a daily practice but being aware of it is an incredible first step.

In My Home

I think something we can all agree on is that we want to feel safe in our own homes. Regardless of the craziness of our work day or the crap going on in our lives, we should be able to come home, unwind, and feel safe. We should be able to enter our homes and feel like we’re in our own sanctuary. But I know that for so many people, that safety isn’t a reality, it’s simply a wish. I am fortunate enough to love my home. I grew up in a wonderful home and never felt anything but safe inside those four walls. Now as an adult I’m feeling safe in my home but at the same time I’m having a type of restlessness that I can’t quite shake. I can’t quite decide what “home” is for me right now. Is it where I live? Is it with whom I spend my time? Is it within myself? I’ve always considered ‘home’ a singular location but within these past few months I’ve started to think that maybe ‘home’ is more an internal sentiment. When we achieve that safety within ourselves we can truly feel “at home”. Safety within myself and a sense of continuity in all aspects of my life will allow me to truly feel a sense of security regardless of my location. When you feel safe within yourself it allows you to create a home with much greater ease.

If you’re feeling unclear about your direction in life, whether in work, relationships, health, anything, I highly recommend you read ‘The Desire Map’. Being able to see right in front of you what your soul craves is an incredibly powerful tool. When it’s right there in front of you, you can’t deny it. When it’s right in front of you it allows you to start the work. Start thinking right now, HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL? The life you want is right at your fingertips, all you have to do is ask the question and get clear on your answer. I hope you all have an incredible day and remember, you are amazing and the life of your dreams is ready to have you. Cheers!